Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It's Adjunct Job Huntin' Season Again!

College #1: Nice pay, absentee boss

"Hey, wanna come back next semester?"
"Same classes, same hours, same pay?"
"Ok, you are on the schedule."
"Great! Hey, I love this place. Can you just hire me full-time?"
"Throw me another class?"


College #2: Nice pay, poor working conditions.

"Please inform the college of your availability status for the subsequent semester."
"I'm available!!!"
Hack, hack. "Hey, I found next semester's schedule!"
"Uh, oh. I'm not on it."
"Uh, excuse me, why am I not on the schedule for the next semester?"
"Who are you?"
"____, your loyal serf for the last zillion years."
"Oh. I gave your course to ____ (my fishing buddy, BFF, cousin's girlfriend, etc.)___"


College #3: A cold call prospect.

Knock. Knock.
"Remember me? I'm the one you didn't hire for a full-time position last year."
"Yes. You were totally unqualified to teach full-time at our Prestigious Institution."
"So, you wouldn't be interested in hiring me to teach the same class as an Adjunct, right?"
"As an Adjunct? You are perfect! Best resume we've seen in years!"
"Great! When do I start?"
"Call us next month. We haven't written the schedule yet."
"How much do you pay?"
"Wow! That's several hundred dollars more than the other college pays per month."
"That's $1000 per SEMESTER."


College #1: My formally favorite college

Whew! Classes start tomorrow. It's been tough getting the lesson plans together, but I'm finished!
Ring. Ring.
"I know that your classes would have started tomorrow, but we just hired a full-time tenure track Professor in your field....."