Monday, December 14, 2009

I Can Haz Re-Grade?

Dear Mrs Trixie,

Firstly, I would like to thank you for a great semester. As I told Nice Nancy, this has been my favorite class so far at Fancy University. (Especially staring at your ass during class when you thought I wasn't looking) I do have one issue though before finals! (Which are in two days!)

I was told to contact you in regards to my mid-term grade for a possible discussion and/or re-grade. I received a “C” on my midterm essay that you graded (six weeks ago). I was a bit disappointed with this grade (as it is entirely consistent with my other work and class participation so far). Many of your comments were positive (if you count a, the, and because as positive comments, because those were the only positive comments), so I was confused as to why my grade was so low. I would really like to meet with you this week to go over it. If you have time for me, I would really appreciate it. Of all the essays that I wrote this semester, I thought that my midterm was the best (unfortunately, it was). I put a great deal of effort into it and I really thought that I nailed it (so give me an A for effort). Any look-over that could boost my grade even the slightest would make a major difference for such a vital chunk of my grade (because the rest of my grade blows chunks as well). I know some re-grade requests were mentioned earlier by other students (like Hateful Harold, who was summarily shot down by Prof Smackdown, but apparently lied to other students to save face), but I waited until classes ended to give both you and me more time to go over it (translation: to give you as much time as possible to forget why you thought my essay was so bad and try to confuse you into a better grade during finals week when you're busy with a million other things). Thank you for your consideration and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Last-minute Larry


Dear Larry,

I'm glad you enjoyed the class--walking up ten flights of stairs from my shared windowless sub-basement grad office to where the abovestairs people live is good for the glutes--and that you've at least learned how to send readable email. I will be holding my regular office hours, the same as I have for the fourteen weeks of the semester, including the weeks following said midterm paper. I won't "re-grade" your paper because I sweated blood (and, I'll admit, a cheap box of wine) over the stack of midterms the first time around, and I don't want to think about you or your paper any more than I have to now that the end of the semester and the sweet freedom of ignoring my advisor's nagging to do research over Christmas break is so near. However, if you'd like to listen to me bang my head against the wall of my office while you explain why you should have a "re-grade," I'll see you during office hours.

No love,
TA Trixie from Tulsa