Monday, August 4, 2008

The Care Bear / Snowflake Axis. It All Makes Such a Lot of Sense Now.

I think this Care Bear guy is on to something. I had a Care Bear lunch kit in kindergarten, with a matching thermos. So here are a few Care Bear/Snowflake equivalents for you to chew on.

Tenderheart Bear - These are the snowflakes with dying grandmothers and sick children. They often appear at your office with watery, puffy eyes begging for time extensions, grades, etc. They're also soooooo sorry for the trouble. Yeah right.

Grumpy Bear - Ah, the smug disillusioned snowflakes. These like to make biting comments during class meant to make them look smarter than you. They also like to dominate class discussions and KNOW that there's no way possible they can fail your pathetic class.

Friend Bear - If I'm your friend will I make an A? These kiddos like to chat after class, bring baked goods around the holidays and, surprise!, have so much in common with you. Anyone up for a study session at the pub?

Wish Bear - The snowflakes who were told growing up that the could be anything they wanted to be. Now they think they can get a passing grade on a wish and a prayer. Sigh.

Love-a-Lot Bear - A special kind of snowflake, usually female. The kind that wear revealing clothing, flash million dollar smiles and want to "get to know you." Not to be confused with Friend Bear (above). Whatever you do, avoid seeing them outside of class if at all possible and keep the office door open. Don't go there. Trust me on this one.