On The Ice Cream Man

First of all, almost nobody believed it. Here's a sampling of last night's mail:

• What is wrong with you guys? That's a put on. No professor with any brain in his head would get drunk and drive around with a student looking for ice cream. I know you want to be edgy and all that, but this has to be a con. If you're just some unrequited creative writing major who wants to get jollies, do it on another blog.
• This is bullshit. The writing of the ice cream post is clearly that of a sophomoric moron. Take it down and do a better job of vetting your posts.
• This can't be real.
• Today's post is clearly a sorry attempt by some misguided undergraduate to show profs in a horrible and potentially dangerous light. Do better about checking the identity of your authors.

A few folks held out the possibility that ice cream man was really a prof somewhere, and that mail went something like this:

• You're a loser. You -- and you alone -- think this is funny. You probably thought a lot of the stuff you did in high school was funny too. But you weren't -- that's why you didn't get laid back then, that's why you're not getting laid now -- and now every last person at your school knows you will never get laid OR respect. Never. Marisol couldn't wait to get rid of you and every minute she was planning her escape without suffering the nerd's revenge in the classroom (read: her grade). I'm all for getting drunk and doing stupid shit, but with grownups. WHY were you at a party with 20 undergrads? I wish you a heart attack from high-fat ice cream. Yesterday.
• On a website normally devoted to the silliness and immaturity of students, we have been presented with the spectacle of a colleague who is not only an imbecile, but an imbecile without the good sense of discretion.
• If you like being employed, don't go to undergraduate parties where students are drinking. This will not please administrators, colleagues, journalists, legislators, or human beings with reason in general.
• My advice to faculty going to a student party -- DON'T!
• You're one sad fucker, my brother. I understand the drinking, the ice cream, even the driving around. But do it with someone your own size, you lecherous cretin.

While we can't tell you for sure that the ice cream story is real, we can assure you that the author is indeed a prof. We checked his identity using two of the normal avenues we follow on things like this. He is indeed working happily in our profession, perhaps looking forward to his next party!