A community college professor in the liberal arts in a cold state sends these along:
"Mr. Smith"
Attention Span: like a puppy
Intelligence: doubtful
Arrogance: Significant
If you want a fight on your hands, make a comment that this student's one-paragraph, 3 page long paper is "poorly written." He'll tell you that the writing is fine; it is just a problem of form.
"Ms. Waterworks"
Ability to comprehend: doubtful
Future career: grocery store clerk
Opinion of herself: way higher than she deserves
Crying seems to work on other people, but not on me. The fact of the matter is that you didn't want to take the late penalty for your paper with the missing golden paragraphs, and you didn't like the grade the paper got without them. Next time I have a couple of suggestions: 1) get your shit together. 2) Don't tell your professor that this paper got an A in your Sociology class.
"Ms. Florida"
Attendance: just enough to stay in the class
Intelligence: my dumb cat is smarter
Judgement: poor
This one wants to leave in the middle of the 75 minute class, and doesn't realize that it is a disruption every time. I'm sure you "had to" go on vacation in Florida with your "family" Thanksgiving week -- which must not include your own SISTER, who is also in my class and was in class that week.
"Mr. ADD"
Attention Span: shorter than any student I've had
Judgement: poor
If you like students who are disruptive and want to watch "Family Guy" DVDs on their computers in class, this one is for you.
"Voldemort"
Hygiene: poor
Integrity: low
Snarkyness: high Watch out for this one.
He'll cut you down with administration behind your back while smiling at you. He wants to be a politician and if all things are equal, he'll end up a used car salesman. Avoid small-group situations with this one.
