Monday, July 6, 2009

Stewie Gets a Dozen Sterling Bits of Advice.

  1. I feel Stewie's ennui, for it is my ennui, except that I don't have a boat, not even a crappy one.

  2. I suspect that I, you, and Stewie can make to set ourselves on a new course of optimism and fulfillment. I know this really works because I saw it on a granola bar commercial.

  3. Pudding three times a day? Why not switch up one of those for a plate of cheesy, greasy, microwave-easy nachos? Or greet your morning with spoon after spoon of peanut butter fresh from the jar? Complex carbs make other people seem less stupid!

  4. My advice for Stewie would be vary his celeb death-march viewing with a little Top Chef Masters. Watching people who know how to do stuff, and contemplating the yawning bergschrund between them and the snowmass that is set to engulf us all, is sure to refine that dull mood to a delicately poignant sorrow tinged with dread.

  5. If you do sail away you'd better send post cards. I need to dream, too.

  6. Gee, how 'bout enjoying all these months during which you don't have to report to work? Maybe catch up on some reading in your field of expertise, do some research, or just kick back and relish the fact that, unlike most working adults, you get an entire season off.

  7. Are we supposed to feel sorry for you because you cannot re-charge in your 3-4 months of vacation?

  8. People who hate life are GOING to hate life regardless of the advice they get.

  9. Sail away? Baby, it sounds like your ship has already...well, you know.

  10. 5 years in is enough to be ruined. Now decide if you want to work 9-5 in a suit...quick. Okay? Not so bad now, right?

  11. You know the rule of battery recharging? Well it applies to us, too. The "memory effect" eventually kicks in, and we never get all the way back fully charged. Oh, and we can be thrown away, too.

  12. Fuck Stew.