Student X: Hi, uh, Dr M?Dr M: Yes...?
Student X: Hi, I'm in your class and I wanted to know what I can do to get a good grade. I am supposed to graduate in May and I really need an A.
Dr M: Okay, which class of mine are you in and what is your name? Let's see what we can do.
Student X: I'm in your media course and I'm Slaptastic Shitforbrains.
Dr M: Well Slaptastic, as I teach 3 courses in media, you may have to be more specific. If you don't know the course title, give me your ID number and I'll look you up on the roster.
Student X: My ID number? Did you give those out at the beginning of class?
Dr M: Your university ID number? The one assigned by the university when you started?
Student X: Oh, that. Uh, I don't remember, can you look me up by my name?
Dr M: You know, you don't look very familiar to me. When is the last time you've been to my class?
Student X: Um, I haven't been in a while because I've been really busy.
Dr M: Define "a while."
Student X: Well, I meant to come last week, but couldn't. See, I enrolled in your course but I haven't been to class. It's been a really busy semester. I'm taking 4 other courses and it's just been too much. I need 5 courses to graduate though, so I need a passing score for your class. I was hoping I could make up the assignments this week and get the photocopies of the notes so I can pass the exam. My friend said you make copies for us. Can I get the notes? If I give you the assignments by Friday will you accept them? My friend says that course work counts for 60% and that we have to have a participation score. Can I do an extra-credit assignment to make up the participation score? 'Cause I really need an A.
Dr M: Let me see if I understand you: you have not been to class at all, everything you know about my course comes from your friend, and you want to do all the course work in the next 48 hours. I'm sorry, at this point, I cannot help you.
Student X: You see though I really need a score higher than a C because I have to pass.
Dr M: You have not come to class once. I cannot help you at this point. Your choice not to come to class at all is a choice not to get a grade in this course.
Student X: Is there someone who can help me? Do you know who the academic advisor for the media department is?
Dr M: I AM the advisor and I am telling you that I cannot help you, either as advisor or professor of your course.
Student X: But, I really need....
