MEMO TO MY UNDERGRADS:
I realize you don't want to be here.
Guess what? I don't want to be here either.
I am here teaching Stupefying Dull Intro Class because my senior faculty want to avoid you. I'd like to avoid you, too, in fact, and I would if I possibly could.
I am teaching you because my department is screwing me over. Yes, my special, special snowflakes, far from being the little treasures you believe you are, being around you is a departmental task that falls under the heading of "shitwork."
You know why people hate teaching freshmen? Because three quarters of you are so stupid you can't manage to piss downward, that's why. The rest of you are so self-important you think you have nothing to learn in any class that has the word "Intro" in the title, and so you spend your time (and, unfortunately, mine) demonstrating how above all this material you are. This unholy melange of arrogance and stupidity is what makes "teaching" you people the faculty equivalent of cleaning a latrine.
I know the right attitude would be to slap a smile on my face and be the edutainment-pushing proffie-friendie you all think you are entitled to have. Instead, let's just realize that we in this class share a deep, soul-destroying truth: we'd all rather be somewhere else, pretty much anywhere else, than in this class.
Some misguided souls might claim we should make the best of it, but then, what would you post on RMP and what would I post here?