Wednesday, March 19, 2008

File This Under: "We're Getting Right On It, Douchebag."

Dear Sir,

I came to your office as well to talk about the reassessment of my grade, however at that time you said that it is not possible. I however consulted several seniors as well as TAs and everybody told me that it is.

The issue was that i am above the mean by a huge margin in both the midterm as well as the final exam. I compared my marks to a couple of my friends who were below the mean in both, by quite some margin as well, and these two exams form the significant portion of the grade. Yet we all ended up with the same grade, i.e a B+. I even calculated our aggregates and there was a difference of about 16% over all.

I therefore kindly request you to please look into this matter once, and reassess my grade. This happened with me once before too in the autumn quarter this year, and my grade was eventually improved, because the grader had made a mistake. I just want to be reassured that that is not the case this time. Thanking you for your expected cooperation.

Bold Barry


Dearest Snowflake Barry,

If the seniors (seniors!), and not only seniors but TAs!!! (TAs!!!!!!!) and EVERYONE say that grades can be changed, then of course they can.

Perhaps the stress of the two weeks I spent marking hundreds of exams (the two weeks you call 'quarter break') caused a psychotic break with reality. I seem to have found myself hallucinating some sort of alternate reality in which seniors (seniors!) and undergraduate TAs (undergrad TAs for crying out loud!!) and EVERYONE simply don't have any say in my academic policies.

I obviously made an extreme misjudgment when I allowed your friends to have the same letter grade as you when you were a whole 16% better than they were. You make a strong case for lowering their grades. If you will send me their names, I'll will see to it that the matter is corrected.

Better yet, I will personally rewrite the grading software that assigns incorrect grades to fine scholars such as yourself. If it doesn't recognize your genius, there must be a problem. Of course, the change of grade petition will have to go to the Dean and he might not want to change all these grades, even if you and the seniors! and TAs!! and EVERYONE says he should. The poor fellow is as unenlightened as I am.

Prof. "Hanging On By A Thread" Harry