Saturday, November 17, 2007

"Oh, Deer."

Oh, I'm sorry, was it inconvenient of me to schedule class on the first day of hunting season? Right, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was an "unofficial" state holiday. I'm just wondering, how can you expect to nail a deer in the woods when you can't seem to find your textbook in your car?

And those three days before thanksgiving too? It's totally inappropriate for me to have class then too? Oh... I see... your family is making you leave... dragging you to Disneyworld for Thanksgiving... wow, hardship. Oh, and all of your other instructors cancelled class? Absolutely, you're right. Let's cancel those days too - I didn't really have anything special planned.

And the first weeks of December? Oh... your work hours are increasing for the holiday season and so you can't really make it to class anymore. Will that be okay? Well, it's not like we do ever do anything important.

Tell you what, let me streamline this process for you. Next semester, just write me a check for the $1000 in tuition instead of my college, and I'll give you the same F, but I won't make you feel guilty for it by asking you to come to class or learn anything. It will just be an even trade.

Really, it will be less painful for both of us.