Saturday, September 29, 2007

It's "Eat Poop" Saturday!

To Mr. Wannabe Bully,

I understand you really wanted that A, and in fact had done everything to deserve that A except this little thing called my attendance policy. I told you that I hated taking attendance but would do so because (#1) student loan concerns and (#2) I wanted you to sit your lazy butt in my class.

And guess what, I took attendance! At the end of the summer session you were suddenly upset at my policy, TOO DAMN BAD! For once in your little life you were taken to task. I feel bad about changing your grade, that is until I received your emails. In fact, your first two emails the first day after grades were given out were a bit alarming, but I felt as if I had explained myself quite clearly. If that was not enough, you told me to "eat poop."

I should have been insulted, but honestly, this only made me feel like I had made the correct decision. After discussing this with a colleague, we have decided to make shirts with "Eat Poop" on the front of them and we both hope that despite the fact you are enrolled with a different department we hope you see the shirts around campus.

Yes, this makes me evil, but that was honestly the nicest thing you said to me and I can only hope you remember the experience as clearly as I do.

BTW, if I remember correctly you had stated that you were taking corrective measures against me and had the full confidence of the dean in this matter. In fact, you stated that much more of my time would be consumed by this affair than I would like to commit. Well, just as a reminder it has been two months and no one has said one word to me, so I would like to remind you that I am still here, waiting.

Your Asshole Prof