Friday, September 29, 2006

The Campus Mascot Ate My Homework, and Other Whopper Excuses

We've recently had a variety of student excuses from our readers, and our favorites are below:
  • A student turned in a late group report that he was responsible for typing, telling me that he had it done in time, but that he'd stuck it in the arm of his tiger costume - he's the college mascot - and forgot it there, unable to retrieve it for 2 days because it was locked in the sports department offices.
  • Student told me that he missed class because he was sitting in an empty classroom for an entire week (he told me he thought it odd that there were no other students present) and finally went to the department office and found out we had moved across the hall.
  • My student sent me a long and labored email about how sick her granny was, and how she was in Atlanta (100 miles away from here) at Granny's bedside, typing on her dad's laptop, and would be unable to meet with me to discuss her exam. The email popped in my email box at 3:42 in the afternoon. At 3:44 I walked out of my office and into one of the college's parking lot and found her sitting on the hood of her car, all pretty, catching some sun, chatting with friends.
  • A student on the verge of being dropped for lack of attendance brought me 6 of his speeding tickets to show me that they had all occurred in the late afternoon nearby, right before my class. "I was on my way," he said, shaking the tickets at me.
  • On a 5 question in-class writing quiz, a student left 1 of the answers totally blank (the one that was worth half the points that week). When I turned them back and asked her about the missing answer, she said her textbook didn't include that information. I told her I'd show her if she'd bring me her book. She said it was in her car, and that she'd bring it to my office later. 10 minutes after class she walked into my office and showed me her otherwise brand new textbook, and turned to the exact location of the information. Indeed, 2 pages were missing from her textbook, evidenced by badly torn edges, some of it still - almost comically - drifting in the air as she unveiled the gap.
  • One of my students asked for a week's delay in taking a major test because her cousin had died. When she arrived for the make-up exam she gave me an obituary notice clipped from the paper (not that I had asked for it). As she started taking the test I noticed that the date of the paper was on the flip side, and it showed June 11, 2004. I stopped her and noted the date and for a moment she looked startled, and then said, "I know. I just found out."