Sunday, November 6, 2005

Professor Tiny Gets Busy.

Professor Tiny - hopefully an ironic moniker - sends along this flurry of ratings this morning. Tiny toils in Texas.

Hotness 1
Intelligence 1
Diligence 2
Don't let M take your class. She's dumb as a polecat and works only hard enough so as to not drop off asleep in class.

Hotness 5
Intelligence 0
Diligence 5
Get out there to the faculty fair and line up S (S for S-E-X-X-X-Y) for your next teaching adventure. She loves the bible, so you can be sure she's innocent. She tries hard, and her sweetness and lipliner make up for a brain the size of an acorn. She'll bring you cookies if you just say the word "cookie" during class. Just drop it in. "Think of these interest rates increases in terms of cookies." I did it once and her eyes lit right up. The next time she came to my office she smelled like a sexy beach tiki hut and she had a plate of steaming oatmeal raisin cookies that we took turns chewing through.

Hotness 2
Intelligence 4
Diligence 0
M is not my speed, though he has a hot girlfriend who has a class across the hall from us. He's my least favorite student because he's smart and doesn't give a damn about it. If you see him coming to your class, be prepared for heartbreak all year. He gets by even reading just half the material, but it's just a waste of time. He's a typical rich kid who has been entitled since day zero, and he'll likely inherit some paper manufacturing company or something and rule some small and lazy universe some day.