SS: "Did you get my email with my essay [due two months ago]?"
Me: "No. You've asked me that every week during class for the last two months, and I've told you each time that I didn't receive it, nor did I receive your fall-term essay [due last October]. As I've said, if I didn't reply to your email, then I didn't get it."
SS: "You're the only person who hasn't been getting my emails."
Me: "Be that as it may, I still didn't receive your paper. Why didn't you bring me a hard copy in class like the other students?"
SS: "Oh, I missed two weeks of class [several months ago]. I had a problem with my cervix. It's all better now."
Me: "Look, here's my netbook; please pull up the essay from your email and save it on my desktop."
SS: "Okay." [Hunts through her email for several minutes.] "Oh, I can't seem to find it."
Me: "Can you get a hard copy into my mailbox by 3pm on Friday? It's your last chance."
SS: "Oh yes!...Oh, I also didn't get an email back from my Philosophy professor. Do you think maybe he didn't get my paper either?"
I never did get that essay. But you probably knew that.