Monday, November 2, 2009

"Please Don't Force Me to Drink the Kool-Aid." Salt Lake City Sammy Is Stunned.

I teach at an insane asylum. Well, no, actually, it just feels like that.

Here's a recent email sent campuswide from an administrator. I would tell you the school, but I'm too effing embarrassed. I wanted to reply, "Please don't force me to drink the Kool-Aid," but I just erased the email as soon as possible and drank a bunch of Mexican beer instead.

I can understand why graduation is something to get involved in, but I'm stunned that this is how it gets sold to faculty.

Am I nuts, or is it the school?


The Fall Graduation ceremony is on Friday, December 18. You really should attend. I give you a short list of the myriad reasons to do so. It is your duty. It is an honor. You honor your students. Best of all: It is one wailing good time!

If this is your first time the event is surprisingly fun and fulfilling. Really! Ask anyone who has gone. For me, it has kept getting better and better. You truly see the fruit of your labors. The students are a joy to behold. They are so proud and you are too. The whole event is thousands of beaming, smiling faces. If that won’t put you into a good mood you better get some professional care.

We live in a time of heinous crimes seemingly without number. From a local teen massacring his or her parents to immense bombs blasting to rubble sacred places of worship in Iraq with hundreds dead; we see parades of these horrors go goose-stepping by with a cadence suggesting the inevitably of evil triumphing over good. It gets to you. I say, how about a night off?

Evil has us drugged. We are numbed and think we can do nothing. Nonsense! The graduation ceremony is delightful antidote. A man much (much, much) greater than me got it right. “Yes, we can.”

So fight Evil and have fun. (I am serious here. It is no joking matter.) Please come to the graduation this December.