Saturday, September 26, 2009
Joe Sixpack: Yeah, your arms look good, that time in the gym is paying off. But wearing a sleeveless t-shirt to classes isn't going to help you pick up chicks; it just makes you look like a dick.
Tammy, Tonya and Tina Twitter: After being trapped behind the three of you while walking across campus during class change, I'm wishing for a no-texting-while-walking law. Save it for while you're driving on a lonely country road and take yourselves out of the gene pool.
Chronic Chris: I really, REALLY don't need to know the particulars of your four simultaneous diseases and the diagnostic procedures and treatment plans thereunto appertaining. If you have a note from your doctor that's good enough for me.
Frank Facebook: You are this close to making me go back to a no-computers policy in my classroom. Your classmates will not thank you. Do you actually believe that I'll think my class is making you stare at the screen that intently and happily? Wait, I was thinking Facebook, but now I'm thinking porn.
Anxious Annie: Last week's exam *raped* you? Is that really the term you want to use? 'Cause it was pretty much identical to last year's, except that it was made up of a different selection of the assigned homework problems. I'm guessing some of your classmates would be a little offended at your equating that with rape. Or possibly a lot offended.
Lorena Ludd: It's almost five weeks into the semester. It is no longer my problem that you aren't registered for the online homework system. Your 200 classmates seem to have managed.
Typhoid Mary: Yeah, we postponed the exam. Betcha wish you hadn't cashed in that flu excuse this week.