Dear Skimmer Simon:
So you just realized today that you missed the first assignment. I'd e-mailed you when I noticed you hadn't logged on to the class site ever. You didn't get the e-mail because you don't read your university e-mail? Well, Simon, I don't see why that's my problem. Next time I'll try a carrier pigeon, okay? As for making the assignment up, did you read the class policies? Oh, you "missed that" part of the syllabus. Well, why don't you go back and read that. Oh. Now you're walking away while I try to explain your options. Well, I hope the back of your head caught the participation policy. Did you know you're balding?
Dear Late Lorinda:
Well, it's a month into the semester and a week past the late registration date. You've missed the first assignment and no, you can't make it up. I'm sorry that Flexible Flo in the registrar's office told you I "had to" let you do the assignments; you're in the same boat as Skimmer Simon. And no, you don't actually have to *buy* both books - you just have to read them. I don't care how you accomplish that. The first quiz is due Monday...good luck!
Dear Back Row Barry:
Yes, the deadline is 10 a.m. It's an online assignment, and I need time to read it before class. But you have class then? So...why not do the assignment earlier. There are other times on the clock besides "the last minute," you know. But you always do things at the last minute? Well, good for you. I'll be sure to take the same kind of care and attention grading your assignments as you'll take doing them. 'Kay?
Dear Historian Helen:
I'm sorry that this class doesn't fulfill the history requirement. I mean, it does say on the syllabus that it's a language course, and you get pluralism credits, but nothing on there about history. I did read these notes on the first and second days in class. You had three weeks to drop and switch to another course. No, I'm not going to pass you just because you're "wasting your money."