Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wise William on Marrying Outside the Species.

I feel bad for Peaches from Petaluma, but I'd have to say part of her problem was marrying within the academic species.

It seems to me you covered this topic once, but I'd like to really focus on why it's best to marry a non-academic.
  • First of all, have you ever spent the day with a bunch of professors. Good gravy. It's so nice to get away from all that introspection and snootiness (and I'm in the Humanities, so I know.)
  • Secondly, who wants to talk shop when they're off duty? I have colleagues married to academics in the same department. Are you kidding me? I have to wrangle with Sophocles all day, and then the wife is going to beat me down with more of it over pasta?
  • Thirdly, what about the delicious variety of those other professions. My wife works for one of those massive corporations. It's hilarious to hear about her profession's dweebs, wonks, and goons. We can light up a small city with the laughter that ensues when she says, "So, the HR guy comes in, and Tony, the policy guy says to him..."
  • Fourth on my list is career advancement. Mine isn't in the hands of my wife. I can pursue my evil path to tenure without throwing my wife under the bus like my colleagues. "Well, sure, my Ted is a good scholar, but really, his last book got rejected 40 times, not just twice like he told you in his T&P portfolio."
  • Fifth, academics dress badly. Me included. Unless you've got a spouse who works in a bowling alley or a laundromat, you benefit from the style points you get through marriage-osmosis.
Oh, I could go on. But then what your readers do for fun. Who's married to a non-academic. What do you find so delightful?