I’m afraid that I am going to rot in my current position as a “department head” at a CC. I love to teach and I love what I teach, but the resentment I have for the current administration and for the majority of students I come across is palpable.I have found that the mentality in my workplace reminds me too much of high school, and I’m not talking about the students here. No, amongst the administration and the faculty there are the same sort of cliques that I came across those many years ago. The only difference is that in high school, at least, I felt like my hard work was rewarded (to a degree) whereas in my current position it seems like it is more who you know, rather than what you know or what you are capable of.
Then there are the students. I’m not that old and I constantly find myself wondering at what point did the majority of students turn into these demanding, whining, lazy individuals who think it is ok to do whatever the hell they want in the classroom or act anyway they want to towards the instructor. It’s not just the millennials, either, these behaviors span the generations. Of course there are the students who make it all worth while, but they are getting fewer and farther between as each term passes.
I keep telling myself that as long as I can hang on for about five more years, until the house is paid of and until I am vested with the state then I can quit and go back and get my PhD. Nothing would please me more than to walk in and tell the big boss to shove it up his ass and tell him how fucked up the hiring practices and salary practices are at the institution where I used to love to work. Unfortunately, these days, I find myself wondering if that is such a good idea. I’m thankful to have a job, and it is a pretty good job at that, but I cannot deny the fact that I am miserable. My greatest fear is that I will remain in a job that makes me miserable the majority of the time because of the lack of other options out there.
