Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Prof. Pedro Shares Another Email We'd All Love to Send.

Hello Prof. Pedro,

I have some questions I would like to go over with you before the midterm. Given that the lineup for your office hours will most likely be long, I was wondering if you could set aside, at most, an hour to go over my questions. Wednesday between 11:30am - 4pm works, and anytime on Thursday or Friday. This would be greatly appreciated.

Many Thanks,
Snowy Snowflake.


Hi Snowy.

What do I look like? Fuckin' Phantom of the Opera? Bring your American Express Platinum Card to skip to the Front of the Line? How are you more special, more deserving of my precious time than the huddled masses, your poor peers, camped outside my office?

Speaking of time, it's kind of you to limit your questions to "at most, an hour." Let's see. I've got 360 students this term. There are 168 hours in a week. Do the fuckin' math! How come you didn't show up to the office hours I had over the past 6 weeks? Oh right. Its midterm time. No one shows up for 6 weeks, then everyone shows up, then no one shows up again until final exam time. You guys call it "Just In Time" learning.

What about the hours I already put into digesting the textbook and writing up notes, and screen capturing my lectures so you could watch them anytime day or night? What about the hours proofing and posting the publisher's end-of-chapter question solutions, pulling together the bank of old midterm exams (with solutions!), and the 10,000 questions I've already answered on the Goddamn course discussion board?! Those are hours out of my precious life I'm not getting back anytime soon. One hour spent writing up a "homework helper" document kills more birds than one hour spent with you. "Wednesday between 11:30am - 4pm works." No, it sure as shit doesn't.

I have office hours from 11:00 'til 2:00 (or didn't you read that broadcast message to the class) followed by 1/2 an hour of "prep" (read: go pee, wash hands, and have a quick bite to eat - in that order) before I start teaching at 2:30 and go until 7:00. Take your American Express Plutonium Card and see if you've got enough points to buy yourself a clue. This would be greatly appreciated.

Many Thanks,
Prof. Pedro.