Saturday, December 6, 2008

Rational Rhonda From the Red River Just Wants Something Reasonable For Christmas.

Since the semester is rolling to an end, and students head out to be pampered into their pre-college state, I have time to construct my Christmas List. While it would be great to ask the Big Red and White Guy to bring me some really terrific students for next semester, I find my needs are really much simpler this year.

I’d like to have a functional white board marker in every classroom, and an eraser that hasn’t been soaked in white board cleaner. I have fantasy dreams about being able to write on the board without fading out, and erasing without slime dripping down the board.

I’d love to have a cleaning crew who runs the vacuum in my office behind the door. Not that I shut the door that often, but when I do, I’m a little scared by the accumulation of paper clips, pieces of paper and spider webs.

I’d really get off on having computer equipment in the classroom that works. I know, how can I continue to add to my already demanding list, but it would be unreal to be able to do my Power Point that everyone insists I do in my class to bore my students without having to jiggle the thingamabob to get it to work.

And, dare I stretch all the way to the outer limit, if the Big Red and White Guy could drop off some bandwith it would be more than incredible. That’s the ultimate. Internet speed. That way when I slip into tech mode to keep the little dip wads interested, I can download before they fall asleep. It would be fabuloso if I could actually produce images as fast, if not – dare I ask – faster, than those over priced pink and green phones my students have in their hands.

I’m not asking for students who are there when the class starts, who don’t text, who turn papers in on time, whose parents don’t call, and who stay awake. I’m not asking for classes that aren’t overloaded. I’m not asking for a solution to anything I’ve complained about this semester. That’s beyond what even the Big Red and White Guy can deliver and I know it and am not one to ask for something I know just doesn’t exist. So, if there’s room in the sleigh, just one thing from my list would be, I don’t know, terrific.