I have so enjoyed reading your paper on the death of your first beloved dog, Mr. Sniggles (affectionately known as "Snig"). The drawn out description of how Snig forever changed your life, as well as the inclusion of nine separate occasions on which you "broke down sobbing" really carried an emotional punch. However, I am a bit perplexed. This paper was supposed to center on the analysis of a news article. While I can see how you might think that your story was "newsworthy"--its being so unique and all--the lack of an actual news article is, I think, where the paper first goes wrong. It then continues to go more drastically wrong with the lack of anything approaching analysis, the narrative and informal tone, the completely personal focus with no real evidence, and the overwrought, cloying sentimentalism. For the lack of anything nearing an actual idea, as well as the complete disregard of the assignment, this receives an F.
- This paper has in it some good points. I think you're right: children ARE exposed to too much sex on television. And if I had not already hear this point 75 billion times on TV, on the radio, from every pundit ever, and on the back of my cereal box this morning, this might actually be a good idea. Unfortunately, this is not an idea at all, but a trite, cliche generalization that shows absolutely no thought whatsoever. Moreover, you don't even provide evidence or analysis of anything related to this issue in your paper. For example, when you throw out the statement that "Every parent should monitor their children's television intake 24/7," you tend to overlook some very key issues in parent's lives, and you also manage to sound like a pompous jackass trying to tell everyone how to live. Since our class has been devoted to avoiding sounding like/being a pompous jackass and instead actually examine ideas thoroughly, this is a bit of a disappointment. For the lack of focus, evidence, thought, and the fact that you insist on acting as though you can and should dictate the lives of others despite being an eighteen-year-old whiner with no life experience, you receive an F.
