I think my Math professor loves me. How do I know for sure?
LP: Get up close, darlin’. Say, “Is that a slide rule in your pocket or are you just glad to see me.” If that doesn’t elicit a response, check out the TAs. Math TAs never get any sex, so they’ll jump at the chance.
Y Y Y
Dear Love Professor,I want to impress my English professor. What poem should I write in calligraphy for him?
LP: Hmm, how about, “There once was a sophomore from Nantucket?”
Y Y Y
Dear Love Professor,
I have several young honeys in my class. I’m 50ish, but look 35, and I’ve never tasted the forbidden undergrad fruit. What do you recommend?
I have several young honeys in my class. I’m 50ish, but look 35, and I’ve never tasted the forbidden undergrad fruit. What do you recommend?
LP: A warm glass of milk and a nap, honey.
Y Y Y
Dear Professor de Love:
I’m more handsome than most undergrad men since I’m from France. I’ve already bedded most of the comely freshwomen, and now want to move on to some professors. You certainly seem an experienced older woman, with much knowledge in these matters. What could you tell me that would help me in my quest for a Sophia Loren type?
PdL: How about this. Le Fuck Off.
I’m more handsome than most undergrad men since I’m from France. I’ve already bedded most of the comely freshwomen, and now want to move on to some professors. You certainly seem an experienced older woman, with much knowledge in these matters. What could you tell me that would help me in my quest for a Sophia Loren type?
PdL: How about this. Le Fuck Off.
Y Y Y
Dear Love Professor,
Help us settle a bet. We’ve always heard that Anthropology profs get the most sex. But that can’t be true. Who has the most sex on campus?
LP: Well, on my campus, it’s the Dean, who’s always sticking it up someone's ass!
Y Y Y
That’s all for this week, honeys.
The Love Professor channels
all of her mail through Emily Sloth
in the Anthropology department of
Central Michigan School of Beauty.
