Thursday, February 28, 2008

Vicodin Vic Says, "I Only Use the Booze to Wash It All Down!"

I ask only one thing of you, bring enough for me. The next time you attend class drunk and high on Vicodin, I hope that you will share. Who likes to fly alone, not me, so I say take me along.

Since it is a course on emergency care, maybe we can use this as a practical exam. Maybe I can explain the pharmacodynamics of that nightmare combo. We will share that moment, a true teaching experience. This would be better than taking that same class period to review exam materials and answering students’ questions. It would be a real world experience, information applied. And you thought you wouldn’t get anything useful from this class.

In fact, bring enough for the whole class. Didn’t your grade school teacher tell you that you could only have a treat if you brought enough for everyone? So I say let’s all enjoy the benefits of modern pharmacology and distillation.

Bring enough at least for me, though, so I can kill the pain of dealing with you and your intoxication. It might help me with the headache I have because of your behavior prior to kicking you out of the classroom. It may relieve the suffering I endured as a result of your denials, despite having admitted the details of your “good times” to your fellow students. I know that Vicodin and booze can relieve even the greatest of pain, and I know your suffering (truly).

Next time if you bring enough for me, I will be too stoned to care about your boorish behavior.