First row: You’ve taken other classes with me, and now you’re a fan. Good. Nonetheless, attempting to banter with me in class to show others how “in” you are with me is not classy. I will continue to squash you verbally.
- You on the left: You aren’t rated for that vocabulary you’re toting around. You drop some mighty fine words, but you’re like a small rodent on a high fiber diet. You’re too ignorant to know that you're just making a big smelly mess. Go home. Burn your thesaurus. Then go buy a dictionary.
- Halfway back, right: You have no idea how much that Voice Of Authority you assume annoys the rest of the class. You even annoy the only kid who annoys the rest of the class more than you do – that guy on the left.
- Second row, left wall: Some day, good sir, you will realize that you need to cut off that nasty frizzy ponytail. I hope for your sake that this takes place before your bald spot becomes significantly larger.
- Center row, center: I have never seen your face. Do you deliberately position yourself directly behind that other kid’s head? What are you trying to accomplish?
- And a quick thanks to whoever turned in an anonymous midterm. (Possibly you in the middle there?) You have made the work of grading that little bit easier. It is a pity that your only reward should be a zero.
