- To R: True, anything would be better than a zero. Unfortunately, the limited list of legitimate reasons for excused absences does not actually include not knowing we had a test today. In your email you state that you "will not bother with excuses." Bless you for that. Actually, though, you could have saved yourself the trouble of emailing me at all if you had read the syllabus, which states several times that there are no makeups on exams or quizzes. Of course, then you might have seen the exam dates in bold print on the front page and we wouldn't have had this exchange anyway. RTFS.
To S: Your three-page handwritten note, slid under my door while I was in my afternoon class, in which you explain that you missed your exam because you "swear to God" (three times!) that you did not know we had class on Fridays, does not help your case. Nor does pointing out that you need this class to graduate this semester (since it seems a Senior in college should be acquainted with the significance of the letter F in the context "MWF 10-10:50"). If you had taken a look at the syllabus, you could have seen that there are no makeups on exams or quizzes. Of course, then you might have seen the exam dates in bold print on the front page and we wouldn't have had this exchange anyway. RTFS.
- To A: As stated in the syllabus, in the case of an excused absence from an exam or quiz, the points for the missed work are simply dropped from your grade. As stated several times in the syllabus, there are no makeups on exams or quizzes. No, you do not need to make an appointment with me to make up the exam you missed. The syllabus gives details on what documentation you need and how to get it to me. I do not buy your assertion that "you looked at the syllabus but still weren't clear on what you needed to do to make up your work," because the syllabus would have told you that you cannot make up your work. I do not have the energy to respond politely to your latest email asking when you can come see me. The syllabus includes a complete schedule of my office hours. RTFS.
- To D: The syllabus specifically excludes oversleeping as a legitimate reason for granting an excused absence from an exam. Buy a fucking alarm clock. And RTFS.
- To K: Yes, surgery justifies an excused absence from a quiz. The syllabus tells you what kind of documentation you need and how to get it to me. I do not believe that you read the syllabus before you wrote to me but "didn't see anything about missed quizzes." Maybe that was some other professor's syllabus you were reading.
- To S: No, you *still* cannot make up the exam, even though you have emailed me again. Yes, you did email me late the evening before the exam asking if it would be given in the regular lecture classroom, and it's true that I did not answer the email until the next morning when I arrived in my office. That still doesn't make it my fault that you didn't know we had class on Fridays.
- To L: As stated in the syllabus, if you're missing class and there's no graded work, you do not need to contact me. There are 200 students in your class. Your shining faces might as well be printed on a poster. I will not notice if you are there or not, nor do I really care. As stated in the syllabus, if you miss class it is your responsibility to get notes from a classmate and any handouts from the course website. It is not my responsibility to repeat my 50-minute lecture for your benefit, nor would my lecture notes be any use to you at all unless you already knew enough about my subject to speak coherently for ten minutes from a two-word prompt. Oh, I see you have never visited the course website--please note that as stated in the syllabus you are expected to check in "regularly" and that "daily internet access is assumed." Details on how to find the course website are given in the syllabus. So if you don't know how to get handouts, RTFS.
- To T: Thank you, thank you for the following email: "Dr. QED, I have checked on your office hour schedule and unfortunately I have classes during all of those times. I would like to make an appointment to meet with you about some of the homework problems. Please let me know whether any of the following times will fit your schedule: MW 1-3, TR 9-12, and F 10-3." You are clearly a student who wants to make it easy for me to attend to your needs. This message even displays standard spelling and punctuation. It is the best piece of student writing I have seen in at least three weeks. I think I love you.
