I especially like how you got rid of the lame "negotiating the tricky dynamic of the modern classroom" bit. Why? Because I don't now, nor ever did, come to RYS to negotiate anything with the students.
I come for smackdowns. I come for hardcore, ball busting rants. When students come to RYS, I want them to be afraid, very afraid. I want them to think that if they are shitty in class or shitty on RMP, then I can get my revenge on them here. I don't want them to have the comfort of me (us) being "more mature" and "above that."
I want them to fear my anonymous wrath, and have their former confidence of my impotence stripped away. I want them to really get that what goes around, comes around. That is what I want for the new school year on RYS. Why? Because for the new school year on campus, I'm introducing a new, kinder, gentler version of myself, and if I can't vent actually or virtually on RYS, I will lose my goddamn mind!