Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Somebody Has Gotten Too Close to the Magic Markers

Good evening, folks, how are ya? Anyone from out of town? Great, great to see ya.

Y’know teaching at Mid-State Eastern Northern Community College is a real challenge, even though some of our students are quite lucky. Whoa, talk about luck, one of my students was fishing, and, after a long struggle, he pulls in this weird-lookin’ fish. So the fish says, “Please spare me! I am a magical fish. Throw me back, and I will grant you a wish.” My student says, “Gee, I wish I could think of something I need.”

Hello? Is this mic on? I know you’re out there; I can hear your livers burp. Anyway, we have our share of tragedy, too. Just recently, three of our students died in a plane crash. They found four parachutes, but couldn’t figure out how to divide them three ways.

I’m sorry. I know, I kid, but, seriously, some of these kids have some real potential. I’m talkin’ real potential. I’ve got several students right now that are halfway to becoming idiot savants.

I know, I kid, but it’s all in fun. You’ve been great. Good night and God bless. Please tip your waitress. I’ll be back at eleven. I'm here all week.