A full time professor at a college in Wichita sends this along:
Dear Kiddies,
Here come my Christmas presents.
Wild Wendy, here's a bra that fits. Timid Terry, here's a heart - don't be afraid to use it, or at least show it. Thick Tommy, look, over there, it's a rainbow! Or maybe it's a unicorn. Go sketch it and leave the work to the rest of us Mean Miranda, here's a lump of coal. Mean Mitch, here's one for you, too, but this one has a jagged edge I hope you snag your finger on. Randy Randy, tell your girlfriend to not only write your essays, but also to answer in class for you next semester; it's your only hope. Meek Melanie, here's a dose of courage. Drink deep and trust yourself from now on. Mild Michael, a little courage for you, too. You're worthy and you deserve to take a stand for what you believe in. Arrogant Archie, here are the keys to a brand new Cadillac, just like your dad's. Who needs college?
Merry Christmas,
Your Old Professor Pal
(who is now eager to eggnog it all the way to 2006)
