The Twit.

Tina the Twit is in my 8 am class. She's a relatively bright and diligent student. She's very polite, but not in any sort of ass-kissing way. She works hard, turns in projects on time, and is actually one of my go-to people when discussions get stagnant.

In a recent Powerpoint project she presented information about various social networking avenues that her generation uses, and she finished with a couple of slides specifically on Twitter. It's something I'd heard of but had never checked out.

So, after class I went to her page (the one listed on the project she turned in.) It actually was pretty interesting. The opening several "tweets" were about her presentation itself, notes to her collaborators, a sort of real-time brainstorming session. I was impressed by it.

I kept flipping page to page until I came across this series:

gasbag still going
8:42 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

reminds us to take notes. duh!
8:37 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

blah blah blah blah
8:32 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

everyone in here is so f&*(ing stupid
8:24 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

reminds us that the projects are due, like I can't read syllabi
8:17 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

another big waste of time class is underway
8:08 am, Monday, Nov 3rd from iPhone

And, I sort of chuckled at the hapless proffie who was the subject of all this until I noticed the time and day of the posts. It's my class. I'm the gasbag.

"Work It, Don't Walk." Zenmaster Zeke from Zanesville Offers Deadwood Darren A Different Destiny.

In the past day we've heard some more from folks concerning Deadwood Darren. Our first set of comments fairly represented the overwhelmingly positive mail that we had received. Since then, more folks have wanted to think and talk about Darren's $20 bill crumpling scene a little more seriously, and we've chosen this one email to stand for those. It's a thoughtful piece, and therefore will be mocked mercilessly by readers, and we - your poor moderators - will be taken to task for turning this once great site into yet another academic circle-jerk like the Chronicle. Yet, we persevere? Why? Is it the upcoming movie deal? The cash that comes in plain envelopes from our fans? No, it's this new blender of ours, 9 speeds, an ergonomic dial, and a capacity for 96 ounces.

--

Storming out of class is one thing. Crumpling up twenties and humiliating individual students is another. There are many, many reasons for this, and many things Darren could/should have done differently, but I'll focus on the most obvious failure of pedagogy--Darren's pedagogy--that led to this incident.

It seems from his original post that the reading-drafts-aloud activity is optional, i.e. students are encouraged to volunteer to share their work for feedback, but not technically required to. It's reasonable to expect students to volunteer for something that's good for them--especially if they've volunteered consistently in past semesters--but it is not reasonable to express disgust at their reticence in the face of volunteerism. Dean came to class with the expectation that if he wasn't comfortable sharing a particular draft, he wouldn't have to--hence his repeated, polite refusal when called upon. It's also worth mentioning that there's nothing wrong with calling on students when no one volunteers--but why didn't Darren move on to another student after Dean proved resistant to multiple requests and encouragement?

Students, as I'm sure Darren knows, if he regularly teaches small seminars, even to undergrads, want to please their teachers, and subconsciously invest a great deal in authority figures. There are exceptions to the rule, certainly, but it's not as if Dean told Darren to "Fuck off, old man!" I have a hunch that if Darren had moved on to another "volunteer," he'd have been successful--the embarrassment that builds up in uncomfortable silences tends to be cumulative in my experience. If not the second, the third.

After two or three failed call-ons, I wouldn't fault anyone for ending class prematurely. He should have busted out his "College is Optional" speech, made the lumps in the classroom feel like idiots for wasting their own time and tuition money (the phrase "I get paid either way" appears in my own speech), and dismissed them from the room. I don't know what kind of presence Darren is in his classroom, but when I sit down and say "Dismissed," the room clears. Leaving the room before they do probably evokes all kinds of unnecessary disrespect (I defer to body-language experts), but to me it signifies retreat. Together with the rest of the scene, it suggests incompetence--"I'm not in control of what happens in this room."

Oh, the crumpling of money, the snarky remark, the unwillingness to follow through on letting Dean read his essay... all of that crap is melodramatic, demeaning, and childish, but Darren already knows that. That's why he wrote in to RYS.

The bottom line, to me, is to own your authority. If you ask students to volunteer for something and they don't, revoke their agency. If they won't do it when you ask nicely, and you're not comfortable with the self-imposed cost of their lost opportunity (or you forgot to bring the crossword puzzle), TELL them to do it. Be firm, be patronizing if you must, but don't get hysterical, for this last is a sign of the most exploitable weakness in proffies.

If you don't think this works, try an experiment: next time you're moderating a discussion in a reticent class, ask a question and then stare at a student of your choice. Make eye contact and don't break it. Do not look around the room; do not acknowledge hands that may or may not be raised. Pick a student who never talks. He or she will talk. Professors have vampire-like gaze powers. Work it.

Ian the Idiot from Islip.

We don't want to say that the fella whose material appears below is necessarily unstable, but he did make a rather pointed and desperate threat against us, our families, our cats (if any) if we did not print his post exactly as he sent it. He tells us he's sent us "dozens" of brilliant articles that we've not used. He also would like to be called Errorless Ernie from the Empire State. If we comply fully, he says he will not take out his frustration on anyone. So, here goes.

--

I have the answer for all of you lightweights who are unable to stand up for yourselves. I learned it years ago and it has always worked. Merely repeat after me:

I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is. I am not wrong, the world is.

You're welcome.

Darren Deadwood Joins the Ranks of RYS Cult Heroes.

The mailbag last night was jammed with support for Darren Deadwood, he of the crumpled $20 bill. It was nearly a clean sweep as well, with only a dozen or so dissenters. One student wrote, "All he taught those kids was to wait until he takes his wallet out before talking." What can you do? We've chosen a sampling of last night's mail, and we have displayed the flava below:

• I think that what Darren Deadwood did was not only brave, but was also good pedagogy. What better way to get across a sustained failure of a class to meet their end of the classroom bargain than to dramatically exhibit disgust at their lack of preparedness? Whether they knew it or not, they were testing the instructor's boundaries, and ran smack dab into a wall as a result. That he saw neither hide nor hair of them afterwards encourages me. They know he's mad, and they're hiding from them. I'd be more worried if they found Darren outside of class to see if they could get in on some of that sweet $20 action too.
  


• I hope you can get this message to Darren. Don't worry about this Friday. If your students have any sense (well, maybe worry a bit), they'll understand your frustration. My students KNOW they're slackers, KNOW they're avoiding work. They KNOW this, but don't act like it. Why? Because nobody calls them on it. They get passed along like precious gems, teacher to teacher. They are used to being coddled and they like it. (What's not to like?) You've shaken them up. I know it. I've never done anything as dramatic or wonderful as you did - when does an adjunct even HAVE a $20 bill! - but I've called them out on their behavior many times. And what happens? They realize they're in the room with someone who cares. They mind their manners, pull up their pants, take the fucking caps off, and work. They'll do it. Even if we have to ask for it, beg for it, cajole it, or thrum it out of them. They CAN do it. But we have to be tougher than their parents, than Mrs. Parker in senior English, and certainly tougher than the admissions officer who told them, "This is a student-centered college." Fuck. What a business.
  


• Leo Longfellow hit the nail on the head. The RYS Effect is bravery. Hearing Darren's story yesterday changed me. I have been in those classrooms, have felt that impatience and sorrow and madness at a group of students who won't learn, who will REFUSE to learn. What are we supposed to do? Take it? Just sit and eat shit in the classroom between eating shit at the feet of the college president and his minions? No, we - all faculty - have to take some sort of control. Why do I put up with late students, lazy students? I don't want them to NOT LIKE ME, or evaluate me poorly. Why? Shouldn't I have their best interests in mind? Shouldn't I give a shit and let them know the truth? Shouldn't I "say my say"? Indeed. Thank you, Darren. Go back into class next Friday and reap the rewards from shaking them up.
  


• A twenty dollar bill, look at you, look at you. What makes me sad about this story is that his students probably now think he's crazy, he's being unfair, etc. His evals will suffer, students will feel justified in any complaint they had against the class, and so on. But the thing is, I don't think he's really the crazy one. He--and all of us--are just shit out of luck in terms of options. My students are dead inside. Maybe it's not their fault. But it sure as hell isn't mine, either. And what am I supposed to do with those lumps? I find myself able to reach, inspire, or even interact with fewer and fewer each term. I want to yell at them. I want to shake them. I want to crumple up twenty dollar bills, storm out of the room, start throwing things around...do SOMETHING that makes them feel or think ANYTHING at all. I don't know how to do this anymore, and while walking out of the room doesn't sound like a solid pedagogy, I am beginning to wonder if "Extreme Teaching" is a necessary trend. Standing in the front of a blank room day after day is dehumanizing and pointless. Maybe drama is the answer. I wonder, is there any chance that outbursts and oddness are useful in the current classroom climate?
  


• Please tell Darren Deadwood not to feel the least bit bad about crumpling that bill and walking away. That metaphor was more powerful than any lecture or cajoling could have ever been, and it certainly would've shocked my ass into gear as an undergraduate. By refusing to use the opportunity they've *already paid for* in the form of tuition, the students' parents have in effect already done the same thing with their money and student loans anyway. The parties involved just don't know it yet. Better still, DD, walk in this Friday with a clear conscience and an expectation that things will go differently. I'll lay down the next twenty dollars on odds that the scene will be completely changed.
  


• You've earned your retirement, so I won't ask you to stay. But in your remaining weeks, please continue to kick ass. You did exactly what that student needed but that none of us have the nerve to do. You probably made a memorable impression on the rest of the group, too. Carry on, Darren! There's sap in you yet.
  


• Does RYS create heroes or just report on them? I find myself cheering these folks on, even nuts like Wicked Walter, who I bet is meek as they come in real life. But Darren. Darren walked it last Friday and I wish I had the same kind of courage.