1. No student received a passing grade on my final exam. This means...A. My exam was too hard.
B. I’m so much smarter than they are.
C. I used the wrong key.
D. The questions concerned the philosophical quandaries of our world, which are unanswerable.
2. A student did not take the final exam because...
A. He spent all night studying and overslept.
B. Like the Dallas Cowboys, he fails to show up in December.
C. He enjoyed the class so much he wants it to never end.
D. He died. Students must have a written note from the doctor to reschedule an exam.
3. A student took a makeup final exam in my office and failed it miserably because...
A. I changed the order of the questions.
B. He studied for chemistry but I asked a bunch of questions about mascara, eye liner and blush.
C. It was an oral exam but he just sat there quietly and wrote a bunch of stuff on paper.
D. He heard I graded based on effort. Wrong. I grade based on “a fort.” That’s what the bucket of Lincoln Logs is for. If my 3 year old daughter doesn’t knock it down, you pass.
