Monday, June 15, 2009

Baron From Boise Goes Batshit.


Hey, Douchey MacDougal. I've got a bone to pick with you.

Do you remember that review session that I held this weekend? Let me see if I can refresh your memory: your level of caring about it was apparently just above "enough to vote for what time it should be held," and just below "enough to actually go to it."

Look, I get it. It's the weekend before finals. It's hard to find time between "beer pong tournaments" and "puking up the better half of a keg" to study. This is doubly so when you have to actually come in to the goddamn campus. And hey, who wants to talk about chemistry on the weekend? Chemistry has, at best, a cursory relationship to alcohol. I really can't blame you.

The only problem that I have is the fact that you made an effort to cast a vote after I asked when it should be held. I made a decision about when I ran that session, in part, because of your influence. You see, somehow I had this naive idea that because you voted, you might have cared enough to attend and ask a question. I suppose that's my fault.

The thing that bothers me is not that you failed to come and ask questions. Frankly, the quality of my week is inversely proportional to the amount of time I spend hearing you speak. No, my beef with you is on behalf of Rachel, Ricky, and Rhett. Oh, you don't know them? They're the people who sit immediately in front of you on the days when you decide to show up. Unlike you, they're students. They are sharp, they're hard-working, and they've managed to at least feign a genuine interest in the material.

Rachel, Ricky, and Rhett weren't able to go to the session at the time you wanted it held. You, and the mediocre-majority, convinced me to hold the session at the time it ended up being held. Why am I not raining my wrath down upon your middling colleagues, you ask? BECAUSE THEY FUCKING SHOWED UP TO THE SESSION THEY REQUESTED.

Look, I'll admit it: even if you'd have abstained from the vote, the session still would have been held at the exact same time. That is, of course, not the point. The point is that this little stunt is the perfect punctuation mark to a semester's worth of your asshattery. Congratulations on your induction into my all-time douchebag hall of fame.

About RYS:

Rate Your Students (RYS) is an academic blog moderated by a rotating group of college professors. To submit work for possible inclusion on the RYS blog, please submit text to our main mailing address.

Generally, stand alone pieces that are "lively" and focused on the terrifying life of a college proffie have the highest chance of making the page. Responses to earlier posts work well only when they come in within 24 hours of the original post. Otherwise the issue has often cooled.

There will usually be 2 site-wide questions each week, the so called "early thirsty" on Tuesday and the "big thirsty" on - well, Thursday. Generally, short and savage replies work best as we normally bundle a variety of responses in bullet format.

Due to the amount of mail we receive, it is impossible to reply to writers, even those whose work we use. This is a failing we would change if we could. Generally, if your post doesn't appear within the first week of you sending it, we've passed on it.

We also are happy to consider links and videos you think our readers might be interested in. We post links on an irregular schedule, but are currently posting 4-5 videos a week given the number of suggested pieces that come in.

We no longer entertain requests for press of any kind. The names of current and past moderators are not available. If you don't like the VidShizzles, please don't watch them. If you don't like the site, please don't read it. If you think we're clueless morons who've ruined the profession, then join the fucking club.