On-The-Edge Omar Offers some Smackdown. Seriously, Dude, You Can't Let Them Get To You.

• SLACKER WHO SITS BY AND HASSLES HER RESPONSIBLE FRIEND FOR HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS: You may not turn in your research paper in at the end of the week when it's due today. Ask me again tomorrow. I dare you.
  


• ASS CLOWN WITH THE FLY BOSE HEADPHONES: You are not allowed to make up for your 9 absences, including the one on the day of your final. You wouldn't know that anyway though because you cannot hear me.
  


• "COMEDIAN" WHO NEEDS TO FIND A NEW GIG -- AND QUICKLY:It is not a funny joke to pretend you forgot your research paper, not for you anyway.
  


• THE BASEBALL PLAYER WHO WILL NEVER PASS MY CLASS,EVER: I don't care about your baseball games, your flat tires, your multiple family reunions, or your suddenly ringworm-stricken sibling. There's a guy in your class whose dad and sister died in a car crash, and he missed only 2 class periods, has turned in all of his assignments on time, and doesn't have any makeup work at all. He's tougher than you will ever be, so he will pass with flying colors, and you will fail. Kiss it.
  


• THE BASKETBALL PLAYERS WHO PLAGIARIZED: I will not tell your coach. He will email me and ask me, and I will simply present the evidence. That is all I will do, I promise.
  


• 15-30 MINUTES LATE-FOR-CLASS KIND OF DUDE: I didn't excuse your classmates so they could leave early today. This is finals week. Our class' last day was yesterday. This isn't even your class.
  


• THRIFTY PENNYWISE: You may not turn in your paper, final, and final essay online because you're saving gas money.
  


• LURKERS, HOVERERS & LOITERERS: You may not see if I've gotten to your research paper yet. And stop asking me"What'd I get?" That's the equivalent of "Are we there yet?" for any teacher.