Saturday, April 26, 2008

Lazy Ass Saturday Gallimaufry. Where the Moderators Almost Give Up On the Whole Enterprise. "We're Still Doing This EVERY SINGLE DAY?"

I teach classes online. So I have my students reading an article about how text messaging and IMming are ruining our children's ability to spell. Here is one of my best responses to date! However the week is still young!

"i don't think that text messaging and iming is messing up our spelling and grammer at all I do it all the time and i can still spell the words out its just that when you are text messaging you are trying to do it fast its just a fast way to communicate not a replacement for spelling plaus every1 knows whut i am typing when i type b4 everyone needs spelling if no one could spell how would anyone have a job? i am not the best speller in the world but i dont think that any thing is running our spelling or young kids i think that they just have to step up the spelling with the math and reading you can read a word all day but u should be able to spell it like its nothing."


~~


The semesters ship is sinking fast, and the rats are scurrying off to find the latest flavor of cheese. All the little lies are turning into spontaneous combustion of various sets of pants, and I'm telling you that I for one am glad it's finally- reasonably- close to the end of the year. so, let's lift one for another step towards retirement, another conference attended-but-not-the-presentations (who in their right mind would locate a conference in New Orleans and still expect people to attend presentations like 'the changing face of aesthetic discipline in 18th century art') another set of free tote bags.


~~


You were in line with everyone else today with drafts of essay five, eager to get that 10 extra credit points for sitting with me and talking about your work. When your turn came, you had a reasonably good first draft, encumbered by common first draft errors, and I started thinking maybe you had the potential to make it. Then I remembered what you had forgotten...

....IT'S FUCKING WEEK FIFTEEN!!!

I tried to be very kind because it was the first time you had actually talked to me and because I'm one of those sucker teachers who think every lazy ass student is redeemable. Finally, after a few gentle words about how there's no way to salvage the semester, you tell me this is the third time...THE THIRD TIME...you've piddled away the semester. I couldn't even say "third time's a charm!" I had nothing absolutely nothing...except...

One more semester and someone who gave a shit could have taken that sports scholarship and finished a degree.

Next?


~~


If you're going to copy answers off your adjacent neighbour during a multiple choice exam, make sure they're not a fucking idiot. Your 110 out of 120 matching choices sets off alarm bells when the vast majority of those matching choices are wrong answers. 1) The statistical improbability of such an occurrence roughly equals the number of particles in the universe. 2) Your copying did you no good whatsoever - even before I bust your ass to the Associate Dean, your exam score means you'll be failing spectacularly in this course. 3) It doesn't help that you've circled some answers on the actual exam that don't correspond whatsoever to your exam bubble sheet, and that would have resulted in a higher score.

About RYS:

Rate Your Students (RYS) is an academic blog moderated by a rotating group of college professors. To submit work for possible inclusion on the RYS blog, please submit text to our main mailing address.

Generally, stand alone pieces that are "lively" and focused on the terrifying life of a college proffie have the highest chance of making the page. Responses to earlier posts work well only when they come in within 24 hours of the original post. Otherwise the issue has often cooled.

There will usually be 2 site-wide questions each week, the so called "early thirsty" on Tuesday and the "big thirsty" on - well, Thursday. Generally, short and savage replies work best as we normally bundle a variety of responses in bullet format.

Due to the amount of mail we receive, it is impossible to reply to writers, even those whose work we use. This is a failing we would change if we could. Generally, if your post doesn't appear within the first week of you sending it, we've passed on it.

We also are happy to consider links and videos you think our readers might be interested in. We post links on an irregular schedule, but are currently posting 4-5 videos a week given the number of suggested pieces that come in.

We no longer entertain requests for press of any kind. The names of current and past moderators are not available. If you don't like the VidShizzles, please don't watch them. If you don't like the site, please don't read it. If you think we're clueless morons who've ruined the profession, then join the fucking club.