A Resolution Miscellany. Where We Bundle A Cacophony of Hopes and Dreams.

• I resolve to be nicer to people who love me (there are a few), but to give no quarter to idiots.


• I resolve not to go buck wild on the associate dean when he calls me "missy" again.


• I resolve to NOT search for jobs outside of academe and I won't fantasize about moving somewhere else.


• I resolve to become one of those cool "chief correspondents."


• I resolve to get papers graded within a week. Well, within ten days.


• I resolve to defend my dissertation and get a faculty position. If these things turn out to be impossible, I will just reresolve in 2009. Or 2010.


• I resolve to smile at my students when I say "check your syllabus" instead of rolling my eyes.


• I resolve to think Swiss. Be neutral. Don't get sucked into silly departmental pissing matches and personality clashes.


• I resolve to teach, and accept that I will not be popular.


• I resolve to be myself, and live with the consequences. If I decide to tilt at a windmill, I will try not to get mad when the inevitable shit hits the fan.


• I resolve to strangle the next book salesman who comes by to tell me that the edition I'm using is way out of date and wouldn't I like one of his bundled packages of textbook, workbook, mini-encyclopedia, baseball cap, and free pen set.


• I resolve to support my discipline, and take it seriously.


• I resolve to remember that my students do not pay my salary.


• I resolve to accept that my colleagues will not always approve of me.
  
• I resolve to drink less coffee and more scotch.