The Dream Student...Somebody is So Totally High This Morning

• Reads the syllabus at the start of the semester. It wasn't written for my benefit.


• Borrows or purchases the books for the course. All of them. I didn't order them by accident.


• Notes assignment and test dates in his/her calender. This avoids those pesky shouts of: "Do we have a test today?"


• Attends class and takes notes. And knows when class starts.


• Wears clothing that does not flash the class. I should not have to, but I will, ask you to put away your penis or cross your legs if you chose to go "commando."


• Either does the assigned reading, or takes the penalty for skipping it. The dream student does not say that s/he thought the reading wasn't important and shouldn't count. When you have your own class you can assign whatever reading you think best. Until then you are stuck with my assignments.


• Shows up for tests with a writing utensil. One that works. Really.


• Tells me in advance if s/he has a conflict with a scheduled assignment or test. How could one possibly know this in advance? The course schedule is on the syllabus. Go figure.


• Turns in hard copies of papers/assignments on the due date or in advance. Do not try telling me that the email attachment didn't go through. You're lying and we both know it; besides the syllabus states that only hard copies are accepted. I'm not your secretary.


• Remembers that only you care what grade you earn in this class. Plenty of students have earned "As" in this class before you; plenty have earned "Fs." What you earn in this class is up to you. It makes no difference to me.